Our Heaven of Darkness

by Ghost Noise

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    Limited to 250. White high-bias cassette tape with body + sleeve layout skillfully crafted by Lee Lewallen.

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about

This album is dedicated in loving memory of Pauline Parker, Seymour Weinstein, John Motz, Linda Jill Dean, and Lisel Camille Dean

credits

released December 5, 2015

John Casey Connolly - guitars, synthesizers, vocals
Gawby Weinstein - guitars, synthesizers, vocals
Josh Dean - guitars, synthesizers, beats

● all songs written by Ghost Noise
● produced and engineered by Jessica Nicole Collins
● mixed and mastered by Joseph Calleiro
● cover art by Ghost Noise
● additional samples and instrumentation by Joseph Calleiro
● narration on track 7 excerpted from a public radio recording of Maurice Sendak
● recorded from spring 2014 to summer 2015

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Ghost Noise Los Angeles, California

◍ "10 LA Artists to Watch in 2016"
- LA WEEKLY

◍ "LA's Hardest Working Bands of 2015"
- OH MY ROCKNESS

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John Casey Connolly, Gawby Weinstein, Josh Dean.

gothic post-punk/synthpop trio from L.A.
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Track Name: I Am Providence
i am providence

what have you become?
Track Name: Empty Air Computer
i’m still waiting

i’m still waiting here for you to say
that you regret something about those days
iron gates at dawn
the bruises that you left
well, they never left

i’m still waiting

and all these years of silence have kept you innocent
a dark room, a voice crying “it was never meant”
your hand felt like a knife
the bruises that you left
well, they never left

the bruises that you left
well, they never left

i’m still waiting
Track Name: (Holy Death, Holy Devotion)
Track Name: Crucifix
i have known it all along
i am not my father’s son

the love you purged from my chest
it was never heaven-sent
the days go by
the wounds don’t heal

does that crucifix around your neck
make you feel like a good man?
and does that crucifix you flaunt so proudly
excuse everything you’ve done?

i don’t know where i am from
but i know i won’t become you
it was never clear to me
now i know i never knew you

don’t you tell me i don’t know pain
don’t you tell me it’s not the same

i was weeping on the stairs
that look in your eyes behind those iron gates
was your own father’s loveless glare
i was weeping on the stairs
and the jasmine tree watched over me
my mother wasn’t there

that crucifix around your neck
don’t you tell me i don’t know pain

does that crucifix around your neck
make you feel like a good man?
Track Name: Sacred Echo
running from my desperation
through the forest, emerald prison
my heart reaches for the darkness
save me from myself, i’ve fallen

i extended my arms toward that heaven of darkness
and watched the blood on their hands consume their days
like a shroud cast upon their fading hearts

and that heaven of darkness offered no reply
and in a single black motion drowned out the moonlight
like a shroud cast upon their fading hearts

the next part of the dream has died
and it’s haunting the sky
but with eyes shut and knives drawn
the night becomes mine

my heart reaches for the darkness
save me from myself, i’ve fallen
hollow bodies, searching eyes
sacred echoes killing lies

the starlight resigns
the night becomes mine
Track Name: Farther and Fainter
throw me in the fire tonight

carry me to heaven tonight

sacrifice my love tonight
watch me as my heart dies

into the fire, into the night
that vision of you is burning bright
winter declared i would never see you again
but when i close my eyes i see you glowing in my head

the image of you fades away
farther and fainter every day
vacant as the fading moon
your dreaming eyes were gone too soon

in flames i watched woven wings descend
now i wait for the night to entwine us again
you can carve out my heart but all you will see
is a heaven of darkness inside of me
Track Name: (A Rosary Amongst the Fallen Leaves)
Track Name: Mourning Cloak
remember blue glass, remember brooklyn
memories fading, but please don’t forget them
those days are gone now, but your love still lingers
i’ll never forget those trembling fingers

tonight it feels like everything is ending
tonight it feels like everything is ending
tonight i have realized nothing is permanent

nothing is permanent
the autumn fells its leaves
nothing is permanent
and i’ve nowhere left to be
nothing is permanent
everything dies
nothing is permanent
it’s just a matter of time

wicker swan, loaded gun
what have you become?
wicker swan, the damage is done
what have you become?
everyone says the glory is gone
one more step until you come undone
wicker swan, loaded gun
what have you become?
Track Name: Whisper of the Heart
(they said i would never see you again
but i see your face every time i close my eyes)
Track Name: A Shadow Without You
i was born in the town where your heart died
and i still hear your voice whisper in the night
every morning is a shadow without you
the despair is endless and there is no exit from this love

this aching love for you
haunts my dreams
eternally

and i die a little death with every sigh
as i dress my sins in white by the candlelight
at the end of the night there is only you
at the end of the night there is only you and this love

this aching love for you
haunts my dreams
eternally

show me how to love again
give it to me then take it away
a thousand hands reaching for my neck
squeezing tight and never letting go

this ending glows
my vacant heart
will never grow
Track Name: (Keeping Faith in What Was Left Behind)
I see your regrets in the lines in my face. The husbands you lost. The wages you deserved. The dark hours you always kept. The anxious and opaque nightmares that kept you awake through them.
Brooklyn. Lake Isabella. Verdugo City. You were looking for a home. You were looking for love.
The older I get, the more real you become-- in the colors I wear, the patterns I avoid. Your accent still resonating inside me so deeply. That city I’ve still never visited-- I can picture it in my head from every story you ever told.
Those fitful, nervous habits bled from your veins to mine. And I just can’t shake them.
They said I would never see you again. But I still see your face every time I close my eyes.
Track Name: February 28th, 1922
pauline
i’ll never stop dreaming of you

pisces heartbeats till the end
Track Name: Throne of the Third Heaven
you drive all night, but you have nowhere left to go
the tears you cry will stay in 1964
sometimes we just aren’t born where we belong
wicker swan, my love, what have you become?

(hold on to the love you lost)
eighty-eight constellations
none of which have ever known
the feelings that you hide
within your hollow chest
(oh james)

(dream of all the paths you’ve crossed)
silver wishes gleaming beneath
the wings of a decade discarded
by rueful iron gates
and fading hearts
(oh james)

i feel it, too
and i’m here with you
fear not, my love

into the fire
into the night
your heaven awaits
Track Name: Dream Ceremony
release my tortured soul
answer my cries
october ritual
blood sacrifice

under the jasmine tree
my body lies awake
heart set for the moon
there is no turning back

awaken these ancient fears
turn out the lights
burn the secrets in the fire
not a soul will know

silent
fallen
cursed

under the jasmine tree
my body lies awake
heart set for the moon
there is no turning back

release my tortured soul
answer my cries
october ritual
blood sacrifice
Track Name: (Vines Ascend This Shattered House)
oh mother
i know you tried
i could feel you through the jasmine tree
your sagittarius eyes
Track Name: Darker the Night, Deeper the Sea
the darker the night, the deeper the sea
the further you drift away from me
i drive past your house and the sorrow sinks in
i know i will never see you again

my dreams of you still come and go
my feelings of grief are hard to show
now i wait for the night
my vision of you is a ball of light

everything dies
it’s just a matter of time

the darker the night
the deeper the sea

your silent eyes stared up at me
the stories you told are just a memory
the jasmine tree lets go of her leaves
but the memories won’t let go of me

i waited for you at the top of the stairs
a wicker swan beyond compare
and now your love haunts my dreams
a heaven of darkness inside of me

the darker the night
the deeper the sea

everything dies
it’s just a matter of time