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Our Heaven of Darkness

by Ghost Noise

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    Limited to 200. Soft matte gatefold packaging with a layout lovingly designed by Lee Lewallen.

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    Limited to 250. White high-bias cassette tape with body + sleeve layout skillfully crafted by Lee Lewallen.

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1.
i am providence what have you become?
2.
i’m still waiting i’m still waiting here for you to say that you regret something about those days iron gates at dawn the bruises that you left well, they never left i’m still waiting and all these years of silence have kept you innocent a dark room, a voice crying “it was never meant” your hand felt like a knife the bruises that you left well, they never left the bruises that you left well, they never left i’m still waiting
3.
4.
Crucifix 04:26
i have known it all along i am not my father’s son the love you purged from my chest it was never heaven-sent the days go by the wounds don’t heal does that crucifix around your neck make you feel like a good man? and does that crucifix you flaunt so proudly excuse everything you’ve done? i don’t know where i am from but i know i won’t become you it was never clear to me now i know i never knew you don’t you tell me i don’t know pain don’t you tell me it’s not the same i was weeping on the stairs that look in your eyes behind those iron gates was your own father’s loveless glare i was weeping on the stairs and the jasmine tree watched over me my mother wasn’t there that crucifix around your neck don’t you tell me i don’t know pain does that crucifix around your neck make you feel like a good man?
5.
Sacred Echo 04:21
running from my desperation through the forest, emerald prison my heart reaches for the darkness save me from myself, i’ve fallen i extended my arms toward that heaven of darkness and watched the blood on their hands consume their days like a shroud cast upon their fading hearts and that heaven of darkness offered no reply and in a single black motion drowned out the moonlight like a shroud cast upon their fading hearts the next part of the dream has died and it’s haunting the sky but with eyes shut and knives drawn the night becomes mine my heart reaches for the darkness save me from myself, i’ve fallen hollow bodies, searching eyes sacred echoes killing lies the starlight resigns the night becomes mine
6.
throw me in the fire tonight carry me to heaven tonight sacrifice my love tonight watch me as my heart dies into the fire, into the night that vision of you is burning bright winter declared i would never see you again but when i close my eyes i see you glowing in my head the image of you fades away farther and fainter every day vacant as the fading moon your dreaming eyes were gone too soon in flames i watched woven wings descend now i wait for the night to entwine us again you can carve out my heart but all you will see is a heaven of darkness inside of me
7.
8.
remember blue glass, remember brooklyn memories fading, but please don’t forget them those days are gone now, but your love still lingers i’ll never forget those trembling fingers tonight it feels like everything is ending tonight it feels like everything is ending tonight i have realized nothing is permanent nothing is permanent the autumn fells its leaves nothing is permanent and i’ve nowhere left to be nothing is permanent everything dies nothing is permanent it’s just a matter of time wicker swan, loaded gun what have you become? wicker swan, the damage is done what have you become? everyone says the glory is gone one more step until you come undone wicker swan, loaded gun what have you become?
9.
(they said i would never see you again but i see your face every time i close my eyes)
10.
i was born in the town where your heart died and i still hear your voice whisper in the night every morning is a shadow without you the despair is endless and there is no exit from this love this aching love for you haunts my dreams eternally and i die a little death with every sigh as i dress my sins in white by the candlelight at the end of the night there is only you at the end of the night there is only you and this love this aching love for you haunts my dreams eternally show me how to love again give it to me then take it away a thousand hands reaching for my neck squeezing tight and never letting go this ending glows my vacant heart will never grow
11.
I see your regrets in the lines in my face. The husbands you lost. The wages you deserved. The dark hours you always kept. The anxious and opaque nightmares that kept you awake through them. Brooklyn. Lake Isabella. Verdugo City. You were looking for a home. You were looking for love. The older I get, the more real you become-- in the colors I wear, the patterns I avoid. Your accent still resonating inside me so deeply. That city I’ve still never visited-- I can picture it in my head from every story you ever told. Those fitful, nervous habits bled from your veins to mine. And I just can’t shake them. They said I would never see you again. But I still see your face every time I close my eyes.
12.
pauline i’ll never stop dreaming of you pisces heartbeats till the end
13.
you drive all night, but you have nowhere left to go the tears you cry will stay in 1964 sometimes we just aren’t born where we belong wicker swan, my love, what have you become? (hold on to the love you lost) eighty-eight constellations none of which have ever known the feelings that you hide within your hollow chest (oh james) (dream of all the paths you’ve crossed) silver wishes gleaming beneath the wings of a decade discarded by rueful iron gates and fading hearts (oh james) i feel it, too and i’m here with you fear not, my love into the fire into the night your heaven awaits
14.
release my tortured soul answer my cries october ritual blood sacrifice under the jasmine tree my body lies awake heart set for the moon there is no turning back awaken these ancient fears turn out the lights burn the secrets in the fire not a soul will know silent fallen cursed under the jasmine tree my body lies awake heart set for the moon there is no turning back release my tortured soul answer my cries october ritual blood sacrifice
15.
oh mother i know you tried i could feel you through the jasmine tree your sagittarius eyes
16.
the darker the night, the deeper the sea the further you drift away from me i drive past your house and the sorrow sinks in i know i will never see you again my dreams of you still come and go my feelings of grief are hard to show now i wait for the night my vision of you is a ball of light everything dies it’s just a matter of time the darker the night the deeper the sea your silent eyes stared up at me the stories you told are just a memory the jasmine tree lets go of her leaves but the memories won’t let go of me i waited for you at the top of the stairs a wicker swan beyond compare and now your love haunts my dreams a heaven of darkness inside of me the darker the night the deeper the sea everything dies it’s just a matter of time

about

This album is dedicated in loving memory of Pauline Parker, Seymour Weinstein, John Motz, Linda Jill Dean, and Lisel Camille Dean

credits

released December 5, 2015

John Casey Connolly - guitars, synthesizers, vocals
Gawby Weinstein - guitars, synthesizers, vocals
Josh Dean - guitars, synthesizers, beats

● all songs written by Ghost Noise
● produced and engineered by Jessica Nicole Collins
● mixed and mastered by Joseph Calleiro
● cover art by Ghost Noise
● additional samples and instrumentation by Joseph Calleiro
● narration on track 7 excerpted from a public radio recording of Maurice Sendak
● recorded from spring 2014 to summer 2015

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Ghost Noise Los Angeles, California

// lyrical emotional pop //

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